Raw story

May. 18th, 2017 12:32 pm
satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)
StoryADay Day 17, straight onto the page here.

The bloody fairies have been at it again. They must sit peering around books on shelves, and behind photo frames as I lumber about the house, wondering where the hell I've stored my belly dance veils, and my small selection of hip scarves.
I'm a retired belly dance teacher, and tomorrow, someone is coming to buy the last few things from me. I never sold everything, thinking that one day I'd go back, but now I know I won't.
I kept some favourites. But, where? Apparently, not where I used to store my costumes, wigs, and the hardware involved with belly dance - finger cymbals, sword, cane, veils, shamadan, dancing flags, Isis wings.
The fairies move things around in this house. Or the spirits. Or the ghost of Little Egypt, turning in her grave at the sight of red-haired, white, round little me in a two piece cabaret costume.
So, I've had enough. I'm getting out the big guns. I borrowed a book on fairy witchcraft from the library. "Fairies, Magic, and You At Home". I'm going to get my stuff back from wherever they've stashed it.
The book says to cast circle by strewing fairy dust. What the-? Who has that lying around? I don't even have packets of sequins any more. Skip that, then, because I have no idea what they're talking about. Who's the author? Lady Morgaine Le Star. Never heard of her.
Next, call in the elements. This book isn't very detailed. I don't think it's for beginners. Well okay. I feel like a nutter, but I don't know what else to do.
I'm in the middle of my lounge room. I can smell the washing drying in front of the space heater.
"Elements, come to me!" I say, with my arms raised, because that seems like the right thing to do. "Hydrogen, helium, lithium....um....nitrogen, aluminium..." Do I really have to name them all? There's a lot, and high school chemistry was a long time ago. "Ah...lead, zinc, and sodium. Hello, greetings, um, yeah."
The book says to invoke the fairies, and ask for their help.
"Oh, fairies, come to me." How do you invoke things you've never seen? I suppose it's like praying to God. "Dear Fairies who move things around, hallowed be your names. Your kingdom is nearby I guess, and you're certainly imposing your wills on me. Please fairies, return to me that which you have moved, or taken, and hidden. Please. I need them for a charity gig tomorrow. Please."
I pause to take a peek at the book. It says to make an offering to the fairies of milk and honey, and little bread, as the fairies 'keep no herds, no hives, and do not farm'.
Soy milk, stevia, and no bread at all. I'm a health nut. I don't do grains. I cut up an apple, and put it in a bowl with the soy milk, and sprinkle it all with stevia powder.
My loungeroom is unchanged, and there's no feeling of magic in the air. But...the book is missing. It was right there on my coffee table, and now it's gone.
"All right, you wise guys. Put it back. Put everything back the way you found it. I'm sick of this. Put. It. All. Back. The. Way. You. Found. It." My voice is strong, and I have my hands on my hips. The old performance adrenaline is running through me. The stuff that kept me addicted to dance well past the time I should have retired, for my health. I kept teaching and dancing, despite the loss of balance, the confusion, the shaking.
Parkinson's is a bitch of a thing.
I sit down before I'm tempted to try a few dance moves, before I start thinking beyond my body's limits, and wanting a life I can't have any more.
Nothing happens. The room is as quiet and still as ever. I flop back against the couch, and soon, I'm dozing. It's easy to sleep time away.

I wake and I'm...not in my lounge. I'm on the couch of my parents old house. The house that has been torn down, and transformed into three townhouses, with ugly straight lines. There's the smell of Mum's vegetable soup cooking, and I'm small again.
I'm...a child. A tiny one, maybe four, I guess. I'm inside this body that doesn't shake, or hurt, isn't weak.
I'm the age....when I saw fairies around the roots of the apricot tree. I remember now. I saw them. I did.
They've put everything back the way they found it. The way they found me.
And then, the memories start to fade. Gone are my fifties, my forties. I'm going back and back in time, losing my adult self. Back through my twenties, and my teens.
I'm four, and Mummy has soup, and I like that. Mummy calls me to dinner, and I run. I like Mummy's soup, and after dinner, she said we could play dancing. We can dance together like big girls.

****

I had no idea where that was going to go when I started it. I'm a bit pleased. I had to go back and alter a couple of things when the true situation of the woman came out, but all the rest is fresh onto the page.
StoryADay done. Writing done for today. Weird itchy feeling released.
satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)
Broke my blogging habit there for a while. I don't want to set yet another weekly reminder on my phone, but I may have to, if I want to be consistent here. No one says I have to, but I'm conscious that one day again, I might have more than three readers (hello snakypoet, dragonlady, and cap'nlychee), and they may like consistency.

A number of things to note. The Clunes Booktown Festival was lovely. Loads and loads of secondhand books, as well as new books, fine speakers, and I scored a new copy of THE WRITING BOOK by Kate Grenville, autographed. I had to sell my original copy a number of years ago to put food on the table.
Shocking though this revelation will be, I found that I can only look through so many tables of books. By the time I got to the tenth stall, I was book-overdosed, and no longer gave a hoot.
Will I go back next year? Hmmm.... Depends on who's speaking, and if we can get closer accommodation than the Tuki Trout Farm, in Smeaton.
Tuki has glorious food, btw.

Vivid dreams lately of getting back into the groove re writing, subbing to lit and genre mags, and putting myself out there. This time, I don't feel in utter despair about it before starting. I don't feel completely exhausted at the thought. So, looks like the weekly calendar reminders are going to be a thing. Along with Memoir Writing Mondays, Grandparenting Thursdays, and Arty Farty Fridays, there will be Lit Mag Offering Wednesdays.

I know this is only one way to build a 'name'. A friend has done an effective job building her audience through Wattpad, and another through consistent participation in online poetry groups. It's the consistency and output of the latter I struggle with, and am wondering if Wattpad is worth it. Wattpad Lady has now been approached by Radish, which is a mob who send stories and whatnot straight to phones for subscribers. WL has offered one free story, and now one for pay, and is receiving income, via Radish. However, one has to be invited to join Radish, or apply to join, and I have no loyal audience I can bring with me.
Something to think about anyway.

So, today: set up calendar reminders. Do StoryADay. A little memoir, as I missed writing on Monday.
Have a swim, have some soup, take a walk, pull 10 weeds.

Saw the endocrinologist yesterday. She grabbed my belly fat and gave it a jiggle. Sigh, okay, back to the 'eat less food' thing, too.
satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)
Achievement unlocked, or whatever the phrase is.
I got the computer, and sat up in bed this morning, and dragged out 600 words. It had a beginning, an end, and truly, does read like a summary of a 'concentration camp survivor' novel. But, I am telling myself to let go of expectation, and just have a go at this.
Writing practice, story practice, putting words down.
And allowing the old gears to grind.
It's based on a dream from early this morning, and even now, I can only grasp at threads of it. A train, prisoners of war, pregnancy, people communicating through looks rather than words, guards. That's what I remember.
The story I wrote does nothing new with the material.
Shrug.
I still feel my blood singing from story telling.
And now, on with my day. Yoga, a bit of gardening perhaps, phone calls to make come 9am, a walk, and somewhere along the way, 30 minutes of memoir writing. It's time to write about the Ex Bastard years, in terms of my spiritual development.

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satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)
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