satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)
It's only now, at 6.30pm, that I have slowed down enough to remember that it's Samhain, the Day of the Dead, when the veil thins between the worlds, and our beloveds who have left us may be contacted.
I have not set out my altar, or a fresh dark candle. I have barely had time to remember the Wheel turning at all.
Only by accident did I note yesterday that the Moon is waxing towards full.
So, now, I sit, I stare into the glow of a salt crystal lamp in the shape of a flame, and I remember my beloved dead.

Mum - who carried me, held me that first precarious year when I was so sickly, so small, so weak.
Dad - who helped me be self-reliant, who allowed me explore sport, and although disappointed when I gave it up, kept it to himself.
Peter - my eldest brother, who taught me what it is to not be a fixed point, who changed from job to job to job, and never settled.
Helene - who showed me how to laugh, how to be sure of myself, to not take things so seriously.
Gail - who gave me an example I didn't wish to follow, and and object lesson in endurance.
Swami Satyananda - who, for a time in my life, was a guiding light, and still, very occasionally appears in dreams.
Johnny Cash - a father figure whose voice carries cadences of my own father.
Toyah, Gingy, Tangy, Meep, Buffy, Cherry, Baby - much loved cats.
Eily - beloved aunt.
Leonard Nimoy - Mr Spock: crush, guide, mentor.
Leonard Cohen - wisdom speaker.

At this moment, I can think of no more.
At this moment, with no dinner table to set, I make space on the couch beside me, and invite you all to come watch Dr Who with us tonight. Come be in the only family time available. I offer this time with love, and honour you all.
Come sit with TB, PB, and I and marvel at the life I've created. With Angel, making a home on some blankets, and the Pupika stretched out on another set. With salt crystal lamps glowing, and the overhead fluorescent off. With the tv lighting our faces, take your place, and let me remember you.

I look across to my book shelf of oracle and tarot cards, and my gaze falls on the Rumi oracle set, and the Magdalene oracle. Tell me, beloved dead, what do you wish to tell me this Samhain night? Speak deep to me.

Al-Uzza - Star of Venus.
"I am the pure Light, my son.
I am not a handful of worthless dust.
I am not just an empty shell.
I am a regal pearl formed in this world!
Close your eyes to see and become aware of me.
Perceive me with eyes that see the unseen.
Come into the mystery to find me.
I am a carefree visitor here for you." - Rumi

Though the ways of this world seem strange to you at times, you eventually call it to be nothing but strange beauty, and expand your heart, resisting nothing, to allow all to be bathed in the radiance of your being.
You are here to share the light of another world.

The Matrix: You cannot understand the present situation using only the logic of your finite mind. A greater truth exists, even if you cannot see it. Trust that all that is happening is an act of love.

Thankyou, my beloved dead. Through these two cards, you remind me that I am a Star Person, someone who sees beyond this world, and has a sense inside of the vast universe. You remind me, through these cards, that I must continue to convey that to the world. Not only beam it out of me from heart space, and mind space, but to write it in the truth of my memoirs, and stories.

As I write this, on the cd player, is the latest offering from Sacred Earth, the live recording that PB I travelled to the Sunshine Coast to take part in. We sat in a tiny scout hall in the middle of nowhere, and sang with Sacred Earth as this was recorded.
"Ancient Mother" is one of their favourite songs. "Open your heart, open your mind, feel your soul flying free".

Who is to say that this moment, sitting on the brown couch, is not ritual, is not magical, is not holy space. Not every piece of witchcraft involves a formal altar, the casting of circle, and representations of the four elements. Not everything is a calling in of deity. Sometimes, it's as simple as altered consciousness for a short time, awareness of intention, and trust that the messages you receive are true for you.
That is what is happening now. I find myself centred down, calm in mind and body, able to type this at top speed, while still in that shifted place. The words come through me, and I am not fully conscious of them. My chest feels full to bursting, my collar bones open like wings, the base of my skull as thin as water. I become the liminal space I need.
Write, I must write, I must leap of faith into the dark of space, and write the dark into the light.
And it's gone. PB sat down and flicked on the tv. The blare of Shaun the Sheep has knifed through me.
Whipped quickly out of that state, the headache begins, and I need water, and water, and water.
Back to reality, back to family life.


satyapriya: Macchu Picchu 2009 (Default)

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